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Dear Robert, entry 1

Posted on 2009.11.30 at 22:01
Current Location: Texas
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
Current Music: You just keep me hanging on
I'm not in a happy mood.

Earlier today I was in a way better mood than I am now. Then all of a sudden, I'm not happy. I'm not sure why.

Dear Robert,

You asked me what you did to drive me away. Here is Prosecution Evidence A

July 2008

You came to TX for a job training session and were here for two weeks back in January. How much I enjoyed having you here. I was excited you were coming and wanted to scream from the rooftops when you asked me back in December how I felt about you coming to TX for two weeks. We looked at houses in Keller, Colleyville, Irving, Southlake. I kept my heart guarded because I've been down that road before with another guy. I knew better than to get my hopes up. I wasn't that happy when I couldn't snuggle with you in the hotel room (we did nothing else but was WAY great with me because I know that if I ever did something with you, this breakup would have been harder than it is). I was proud that you met my mom and my brother, the two closest to my heart. You didn't meet my dad but that was ok because eventually I knew you would.

I was wrong.

July 2008

I go to visit you in California. How much had changed. After not seeing you for months, and then I see you again, all you greeted me with was a hug and a kiss on the cheek. So much for romance. Heck, my dad would give my mom a better display of affection than you did with me. I thought a year and a half into the relationship we'd still have more affection than that! Strike 1.

We went to Carl's for something to eat. The line was too long and what's even more scary, the car in front and the car in back had gang members in it and you get out of the car to try to yell at the person in the window--was it her fault? You could have been killed, I could have been killed because you wanted to be mister macho man, or just plain grumpy. You would have been another statistic. Strike 2.

During the week I was there, granted it was great that I got to stay at your house. Give back one strike. The house that you and your mother live in. Strike 2. You took me everywhere. Give back one strike. You paid for meals. Give back another strike. You took me to Disneyland and Universal Studios. Damn, I don't have more strikes to give. Oh wait, I do.

Disneyland--we go to Disneyland and we stay at a hotel with two adjacent rooms. Of course, with your ex-fiancee, you would stay in one room, but I digress. After all, you had to go to therapy to get through that relationship. Your therapist told you to take it slow the next time you got into a relationship. Fair enough. Back to Disneyland. The ride we get on was that stupid cave one with the snowman that goes kind of fast. I forgot the name. You wanted to be in the back, I had to be in the front. For whatever reason, that wouldn't work. I'm not sure why. Ha! Maybe because the seat belt would fit better if I sat in the back because of my weight. I'm going to blame that. You got so pissed off instead of being understanding. After we got off, I went to the bathroom and shed tears. At Disneyland, Robert!!!!!! You didn't give a shit. It was all about your ego. Big STRIKE 1.

Despite that little set back, we had a decent time. We shopped and we shopped. I got items that were pretty cool, including a shirt for you that was embroidered. I thought that was neat. A thank you present for opening your home to me. You rented a locker to put stuff in and at the end of the night, when I had stayed there over 10 hours, it was time to go home. You went to get the bags and after I told you that I'd wait for you to come back (I was dead on my feet), you come back indeed mad. "You know you could have helped me" and in a tone that was so harsh I didn't speak to you for the rest of the night. We went back to our rooms and again, for the second time in the day, I shed tears because you were very nasty. In reality, I should really have told you to take me to the airport that next day so I could fly back home. But I didn't. Why not? Not sure. MAJOR STRIKE 2

The next day I decided to be the "big" girl and apologize for any misunderstandings. You accepted the apology. Strike 2.5.

We go to Long Beach and he shows me a beautiful lighthouse - I love lighthouses. Take back half strike. We go to the aquarium of the Pacific and it was very nice to see all the fish. Long Beach is a beautiful place. I like it there. If I could, I'd move there. That or Burbank. Very nice places to live. California is a beautiful place. It's everything I'd hoped it'd be.

The airport--finally. I cried some. He told me to stop crying. Instead of telling me, it'd be ok, and I'd see him soon, he tells me that he can't handle crying. Umm, who was the one that comforted him when we watched the Bucket List here in TX and someone was sobbing because it reminded him of his late dad? Did I make fun of him? Did I tell him to stop the waterworks? NO. WHY? Because I could empathize and be sympathetic.

So, Robert, when you asked me what drove me away from you, this is just the beginning of the end for you to be in my life. A notorious start to the end.

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